


When Gabriel Agreste Found His One True Love

by MiniNoire



Series: Who Says You Only Fall In Love With Humans? [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Gabrielamp, Gen, Humor, I just..., It just...does, Moth tendencies, Pure Crack, This fic is half stupidity half insanity, This ship exists, Unadulterated Crack, crack taken serious, dont ask how, take it pls.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28776564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNoire/pseuds/MiniNoire
Summary: Open windows, statues he never had a memory of buying, dancing lampshades, Emilie’s portrait --Wait.When did he get those dancing lampshades in the first place?(Disclaimer:This fic is a product of a hyper MiniNoire, high on sugar and caffeine and chemistry, left in the wild. At midnight, she was suddenly blessed by a flash bulb of idea (not kidding!) about this crack ship that should be canon, and hence this insanity was born.Reader discretion advised:please don't drink anything while reading this mess. You might cough and splutter and have trouble breathing, really.)
Relationships: Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth & Nooroo, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth / Lamps
Series: Who Says You Only Fall In Love With Humans? [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123937
Comments: 29
Kudos: 32
Collections: My Love Interest Is Not a Living Thing...





	When Gabriel Agreste Found His One True Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is Chaos. This is Stupidity. This is Insanity. This is my brain working non stop from 12 midnight to 1 am. This is the final product of the ideas being discussed on the discord server.
> 
> I survived writing this. ShamelesslyRomantic survived beta reading this. I hope you guys survive reading this <3

A line here, a flare there. 

_Flutter flutter_

Maybe the flutter, **_NO_ ** _wait..._ the flare. Yes, the flare it was, maybe it should be diagonal...should there be a train?  
**  
**

_Fwoosh!_

A yes to the train. Gabriel definitely doesn't want some crazy lady suing his company because the skirt of her dress was too short. (Honestly, he was so tired of those lawsuits against him, he almost wished for someone who claimed that Gabriel Agreste was Hawk Moth.

(Well, that one _is_ true, but that’s a tale for a different day.))

Okay, so a dress with a train. If some clumsy person slips over them and breaks their bones, their loss.

Or maybe it was best to just keep the skirt knee length. You know, just to minimize the lawsuits that ate into precious time he could have instead put to good use by farming his oh-so-sweet, secret pets.

Would the dress look good as an off-shoulder? And what will be the best colors for it… purple, blue, yellow? (No don’t dare to say red or green paired with black. If Gabriel Agreste heard you, no one else will hear from you in the future.)

Hm, something about the idea didn’t sit right at all…

**_Thump! BAP!_ **

“NOOROO! Can’t you see I’m actually trying to concentrate here?!” Gabriel finally hollered, slamming the stylus down on the tablet with a great force. 

(No, don’t worry. The tablet was safe. Nathalie specially ordered durable screens because she has worked with Agrestes for too long a time.

(If only she could get finger replacements for Gabriel, too.))

Anyways, back to the tale.

Shaking his fingers in pain as he did a miniature (and comical) pain dance, Gabriel Agreste glanced around for the purple, winged miscreant who dared to trouble him in his meditative state. When said kwami was nowhere to be found, he called out for him.

“Nooroo! Now’s not the time to play, come out this instant!”

Still no reply.

Gabriel started to look around in earnest. For Nathalie, not his kwami. Nathalie could then look for Nooroo while he nursed his fingers back to health.

There was no sign of Nathalie, either.

Gabriel walked over to her desk, bending to look underneath it ‘cause...just in case. No particular reason. 

Not like Nathalie would hide there, haha. She wasn't a kid, right? She was an adult, a full fledged adult and perhaps the only sane person left in the Agreste household.

(By the way, Nathalie wasn’t under the table. Y'know, checking just to be sure.)

He straightened up and pulled his phone out, only to find a text from her.

> _“Gettin’ a coffee and a well-deserved rest that’s somehow still not covered in my paycheck. Here is ur schedule for 2 hrs. Don’t be a baby and don’t do anything stupid. xoxo”_

Such a grammatically incorrect text. And what was the ‘xoxo’ supposed to mean? Was it some new undiscovered kwami?

Sigh. Nathalie was also falling prey to the common teenage ways of lazy texting. Some texting classes were in order in the near future.

But right now, he had to find Nooroo.

Gabriel scanned round the room. Open windows, statues he never had a memory of buying, dancing lampshades, Emilie’s portrait --gosh, her emerald green eyes still managed to captivate him, even in the painting form and he wished he could just get lost in them and dance all the ni--

Wait. Dance was supposed to remind him of something….

When did he get those dancing lampshades in the first place?

Walking briskly over to them, Gabriel removed the lampshades and tossed them aside. Only to find a dazed Nooroo hugging the bulb as if his life depended on it.

“Nooroo, what is this mess?” Gabriel started, getting his voice all stern and heavy like those villains he had seen in the cartoons Adrien watched as a toddler (honestly, they had been a great help in boosting Gabriel’s career as a supervillain). 

Well, that voice wasn’t working right now for certain, for Nooroo simply looked at him with those….purple eyes that were glossy and ohgosh WAS HIS KWAMI DRUNK?!

“Nooroo, are you freaking drunk?!”

The little kwami giggled, before flying up to his master and pecking him on the cheek.

A peck on the cheek? What. a. Disaster.

Gabriel certainly didn’t find it cute. No, he wasn’t melting there at the shenanigans of his drunk-for-reasons-still-unknown kwami. And seriously, Gabriel will be hunting everyone down who claimed that Gabriel Agreste, the great Gabriel Agreste who was secretly Paris’ most ~~not~~ terrifying superhero, craved more of those kisses.

(Everyone includes you too, Portrait Emilie.)

“Nooroo, what. Was. that.”

“A peck. On the _hic_ cheek.”

“Why did you peck me?”

“‘Cause you’re a touch starved loony toon, Gabey.”

The man let out a sound that eerily matched that of a hawk choking on a moth (is that even possible? Whatever.) “Nooroo?”

“Yes, Gabey?”

“Please. Don’t call me. Gabey. Ever.”

“Only if you _hic_ lemme peck you again,” the kwami mumbled dreamily. “You touch starved son of loony toon.”

“Nooroo?”

“Yes Master?”

“Please don’t call me a looney toon, either.”

“Man, you and your tantrums,” the kwami lightly swatted at Gabriel’s hair, before falling back into his palm. “Fine, whatever you say.”

“Am I still getting a peck?”

“Nah, you’re being a baby,” the kwami chided him and zipped into his pocket, probably to sleep off the effects of… whatever the alcohol he had dived into.

Nathalie had told him not to be a baby.

Good to know he failed spectacularly at one thing.

But why was Nooroo drunk? Gabriel had been cautious to keep all his wine stocks in the darkest corner of his lair’s untouched parts ten years ago, hiding them from Emilie. Even she hadn’t been able to find them, then how could Nooroo?

His gaze fell on the discarded lampshade. The lampshade that had been dancing moments ago.

Nooroo had been hugging the bulb. Which was a source of light.

Moths were attracted to light.

_**Eureka!** _

Gabriel finally got a revolutionary idea, for the first time in weeks.

(Not to solve Nooroo’s drunken state, no. Remember the dress from where the tale started?)

* * *

Nathalie could feel her left eye twitching. Though, with the amount of time she had spent with the Agrestes, the eye twitch might very well be a habit for her now.

“I told you to not do anything stupid.”

“You did.”

“So?” She frantically gestured up and down at herself.

“Well, you never said anything about not involving you in the stupidity,” Gabriel pointed out as he gave the dress she wore a critical eye. “Lampshade styled as a mini-dress. Seriously, this piece is revolutionary! Where’s my Fashion Nobel Prize?”

“Your _what_ _now_?”

“Shh, nothing,” Gabriel whispered, picking something up from the table. “Now time for the final accessory, the headdress~”

“Seriously, you’ve never paid me enough for this shit, Agreste!”

“Not my fault, you should’ve read the contract!”

**Author's Note:**

> Might do followups to this soon, though no promises!


End file.
